If you’re just here for the ice cream, click here for the recipe.
There has been nothing more rewarding (excluding motherhood, obviously) than the life-change I’ve made to start my own business as a Full-Time copywriter.
While scary, it has allowed me to be fully present with my son every day. I can be there for all of his firsts, and I never forget how privileged I am to be able to do that.
On a personal (Kenz-level), I’ve been able to find the value in what I have to offer professionally. Finding my path has had such an incredible impact on my self-esteem and mental health. I’m so grateful for everything that has allowed me to do that.
And yeah, I’m even learning how to include myself in that gratitude. I’m learning how to appreciate my courage and work ethic that helps me pursue my goals each day.
It is true, though, trying to juggle a career and motherhood can be a bit overwhelming.
I totally feel the anxiety and worry that I’m not “doing enough”. I’m not working enough. I’m not mothering enough.
But, a huge part of my journey is learning to cope with my anxiety-driven tendencies. To live in the moment. To appreciate what I have right now without worrying about ‘the bad thing’ that could be coming up to destroy it.
That isn’t easy.
But it’s possible.
I wanted to share the daily steps I take to grow my emotional strength and practice self-care. And, no, I’m not talking about the “treat yo’ self and bath bombs” kind of self-care.
-Not that I don’t whole-heartedly support and partake in that, as well.
But in this post, I’m talking about the ‘hard, emotional work’ version of self-care. The uncomfortable and adventurous self-care that we need to grow.
The “You’re responsible for your own happiness” self-care.
So, make sure to save that bath bomb for the end, my guy.
Meditation | How I Am Learning To Focus On The Moment
Meditation is actually very difficult. If you’ve never done it, it might seem like you just sit there with your eyes closed and do nothing.
And you know what, that’s precisely what you are supposed to do.
But you’d be surprised how incredibly difficult it is to focus on your meditation.
Before I know it- despite my best effort- my mind starts wandering.
“I have to do X.”
“what if I mess this up?”
“WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH AT MEDITATING?”
Even so, I try my best to implement meditation at least once a day. I usually get up around 6AM, which gives me 1-2 hours before Jakey wakes up. (He is now sleeping through the night, so YAYAY!)
I watched Sarah Turner’s Youtube Video on how she structured her day for productivity and started following her lead with meditation.
- I get up
- I make some coffee
- I meditate for ten minutes
- … and breast pump(still hating it).
I use a few different meditation sessions based on my needs/intentions for the day:
- Focus | Here’s The Video I Watch
- Anxiety-Relief | Here’s The Video I Watch
- Self-Love | Here’s The Video I Watch
Practicing meditation has really helped me function better. I may not be very good at it, but learning to meditate helps me be a productive business owner, mother, and person.
Time Limits | How I Set Work/Life Boundaries As A Mompreneur
This really came with time, and Jake’s ability to grow in independence, but sleep-training was a huge help.
(Eventually I’ll be posting a blog on how I sleep-trained, and I’ll try to remember to back-link it in this post)
Before I started setting limits, I would obviously work whenever I had a free moment. That included working until 1AM.
Now, there will be occasions where a late-nighter will be necessary, but I started to realize I was burning myself out. And that actually made me LESS productive.
Now, I set myself up for a 6-hour workday, starting at 6:30 am and ending at 2:00pm. I sprinkle breaks Jake breaks throughout, and try to be done no later than 3:00PM when my husband gets home.
Setting these time limits REALLY help me focus, and it shows me just how much I CAN get done in that time-frame. I also decided to work 4 days a week, and take 3 days to spend with Jake unapologetically.
This was really hard in the beginning. I was struggling with a lot of guilty thoughts:
“Wow, guess you really don’t want to be successful at your business if you can’t handle late nights”
“Wow, what a privileged little bitch to be able to just ‘decide’ she only wants to work 4 days a week”
And ya know what, I realized how fucking stupid those thoughts were. I realized that I was so worried about OTHER PEOPLE judging me that it was driving me crazy. For fuck’s sake… what better reason do we start our own businesses if not for the flexibility- if not because I wanted to make more money and work less?
And when I started embracing this mentality, I remembered my reasons for making the career leap. I wanted to make more money and be with Jake. Fuck… I just wanted to be a happier person than I had been for a long time. Longer than I genuinely care to admit in hindsight.
I have busted my ass harder than I ever had- EVER- to make this work. I’ve spent more time sans comfort-zone in the past 6 months than I have in my ENTIRE LIFE.
If there are people in my life who don’t recognize that, it isn’t my problem. I have no control over their thoughts. I only can control the narrative I tell about myself.
And so, I’m learning not to give a single fuck about silly stuff like that.
So, please don’t let that voice in your head punish you for needing a break.
Or- God-fucking-forbid, enjoying more of your life…
Especially if you’re in a creative field. That mental break is crucial for you to be able to do your job well.
Burning the midnight oil 7-days a week WILL happen sometimes… but just remember to make it a ‘sometimes’.
Mentality | How Shifting My Professional Mentality Made Me A Better Business Owner
The biggest challenge you’ll face in starting a business is your mindset.
Most of us, before starting our businesses, came from another company. We had a boss. We were an employee who was accountable to someone else.
You MUST get out of the “employee” mindset to succeed. You have to stop thinking, “oh man, I have to find people that want to work with me/buy my products”.
You must start thinking: “I must find people I WANT to work with/buy my products”
Your mission is to grow your business. That’s it. That’s why you’re doing what you’re doing. You CANNOT maintain a servitude/fearful attitude.
It will kill ya.
If you find a client that gives you red flags, then walk away. There are always more.
If you find a client who tries to haggle your prices, show them the door. There are plenty of people willing to pay what you’re worth.
If a client doesn’t value your time, or treats you like their employee, YOU fire THEM.
You’re nobody’s bitch anymore, my love. You’re a skilled professional here to bring your expertise. Act like it. Show YOURSELF respect.
Don’t let anyone convince you that you need to eat shit to be successful. It took me a long time to learn that.
And don’t work for free. There are ways to provide services without a $$ amount exchanged that benefit you, but you CAN always find “experience” that will pay $$.
I was a doormat for most of my life. I bowed down in the face of conflict whenever I smelled it on the wind. I’d do WHATEVER I had to do to please someone else. Because ‘pleasing someone‘ = self-validation. I had tied my self-worth tightly to other people’s perception of my value.
It was wholly selfish and wholly toxic. And it never worked how I wanted it to.
I know… a ground-breaking realization, isn’t it? *eye-roll*
I spent many years working with people who, no matter what I did, were never satisfied. It almost destroyed me. Perhaps it did destroy me, because I really felt myself on the edge of: “this is just how life is. I am not good enough to achieve my goals.”
Now that I run KBK(Kopy By Kenz), I don’t put up with that. I’ve learned that I don’t have to work with anyone I don’t want to… because there are plenty of people who will value and appreciate what I do.
Those people exist for you too.
If you take nothing else from my post, mama, take that.
Don’t just drink coffee out of your “#GirlBoss” cup. Fucking embody it. People won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself.
You need to work on believing in your own worth if you want clients/customers to believe in you too.
Routines | Why Sleep-Training Had A Massive Impact On My Productivity
It goes without saying that we need to sleep.
And when ya got a behbeh, sleep is hard to come by in the beginning.
It will genuinely impress you when you realize how well you function with as little rest as you’ll get during those early months.
If you’re a mom running their own business, then you’re juggling far more than people might realize- more than you realize. You’re now a stay-at-home-mom and a full-time-career-woman.
To make it easier on yourself. Sleep-train your kid.
There are many options out there, and you’ll find one that works for your family. Sleep training doesn’t only benefit YOU, it also helps the babe. Giving them the tools to sleep on their own helps them grow and be happier babies.
And when you sleep-train, you open the door to routine.
You know.. routine. A (mostly) predictable timeline to keep you from feeling like the world is on fast-forward, and you can’t find the remote to pause it.
Sleep-training my son has made other aspects of my business easier to manage. I can only get up at 6AM and do what I do because I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I only have the confidence that I can get shit done because I’ve trained Jake to sleep in until a specified time.
Sleep-training improves their naps, as well. Which means I have a few hours throughout my morning/afternoon to work on projects.
And because he’s getting enough sleep, he’s in a much better mood while he IS awake.
This all compounds onto itself and will make both of your lives more manageable.
Rewards | How Ice Cream Makes Me A Better Woman
Yup. It’s true. Every night before bed, I make myself an “ice cream shake” in my Ninja blender.
After Jake is asleep.
After my work for the day is done…
After I pumped for the last time that day…
I sit my ass down on the couch and eat ice cream—every night.
Well, I’m like a dog, I guess. I’m food-driven, lol. I love food. I love routine. I love sitting with myself and enjoying a delicious treat as a reward for all of my hard work.
My nightly ice cream helps me decompress from the day. It’s almost like a trigger. I know ice cream time = relaxation time.
It’s my ritual.
It’s my personal “treat yo’ self” moment. It helps me wind down and relax. All that sugar and chocolate gets my endorphins goin’, and it just helps me end my day on a high note.
Yes, there are healthier alternatives. But this is my selfish thing. This is what I do purely for satisfaction. And I’m not sorry lol.
So no matter what you find joy in, maybe set aside some time at the end of each day to enjoy it. Whether that be a snack, or a bath, or yoga, or video games.
Whatever lets you be wholly irresponsible and unfettered. It’s for the sake of BALANCE, my guy.
That’s All Folks
Thanks for reading the blog, gang. I hope it gave you some tips to try out. Everyone is different, but I think all of the stuff I’ve mentioned is worth a try. Some of it is uncomfortable. Emotional work that you might be reluctant to do, but it’s worth it.
It’s so worth it.
Let me know what you guys do to help you “slay” your day. I’m always looking out for ways to be the best mompreneur I can be!
If you haven’t heard it yet today: I’m so fucking proud of you. You are doing SUCH a good fucking job juggling all of this.
Kenz’s Ice Cream Shake Recipe
- 4 Pieces Of An XL Hershey Chocolate Bar
- 1-1 ½ Cups of Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavor(I STRONGLY recommend Hagan Daaz)
- About 4 TBSP CRUSHED Ice
- JU-U-UST enough milk to help the ingredients blend (usually about ¼- ½ cup)
- Layer Ice Cream
- Then Chocolate Bar
- Then Crushed Ice
- Then Your Milk
- (in that order) into your blender.
- Blend that sucker.
- Leave In Freezer for AT LEAST 20 mins, but no more than 45 mins
DO NOT OVERBLEND. This is VERY IMPORTANT.
You want to make sure the ice has broken down and there are no chunks left. It will look a lot like chunky wet sand.
That’s what you want.
When you don’t over blend, you get to enjoy a really refreshing texture, and at the bottom of your shake you’ll find some larger bits of chocolate bar and it’s HEAVEN.
This will take some time to “get right”, so don’t be afraid to experiment with different measurements of any of the ingredients.
TBH, I don’t measure, I just kind of eye-ball everything.
How I Came Up With The Recipe (for those 2 people that might give a shit)
I made this recipe up almost ten years ago. I was trying to recreate a Starbucks Frappuccino. I know… how “Live, Laugh, Love” of me.
But in my defense, I was 18, and this was before all of the Pinterest and Youtube videos showing you how to recreate recipes.
I love my ice cream shake 10 TRILLION times more than anything at Starbucks.
I hope it is something that will bring you joy too… just be careful… It’s addictive AF. 😉